


Unintentional

by sparklingcas



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Almost smut, Cheating, F/M, Fantasizing, Jensen/Reader - Freeform, Language, Masturbation, Misha/Reader - Freeform, Oral Sex, Phone Sex, Reader-Insert, Smut, Will add more tags as the story goes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-18 01:59:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10606947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklingcas/pseuds/sparklingcas
Summary: Your friendship with Jensen is put on the line when you have to film a few, suggestive scenes with him. Normally, it wouldn’t be a big deal, except that Jensen is happily married. And there was definitely chemistry between the two of you.





	1. The Other Woman

**Author's Note:**

> Request: Hi! Could I request a Jensen X Reader with angst please? I´m pretty much a sucker for angst. you can always add some fluff in it if you want :)
> 
> This request made me birth a series. Oops.

When Jensen's tongue slid into your mouth, you melted into him. One of his hands moved up to cup your cheek, and the other tangled itself in your hair, pulling slightly. He pressed his body into yours, pinning you against the wall even harder. That’s when you felt his arousal, and that’s when you knew that you weren’t just imagining things. You ached for him in ways you’d never ached before, not with anyone else; you needed him. Just as you were getting ready to hike your leg up around his waist, the director yelled cut.

Jensen pulled away from you quickly, avoiding eye contact with you before subtly trying to adjust himself. That scene wasn’t supposed to get so steamy, but it was a good thing the director liked it. Because you didn’t think that either of you could handle doing it again. You brought your hand to your mouth, your lips still tingling from the kiss. You looked up at Jensen, making brief eye contact with him before bolting for your trailer.

You’d been on Supernatural for two years now. You’d always gotten along great with everyone. You considered Jensen to be one of your best friends, along with Misha. But there was always something…more between you and Jensen.

Once you’d gotten back to your trailer, you went straight for a cold shower. Well, not ice cold. Actually, just warm. You couldn’t take cold showers. You couldn’t help thinking about what just happened as you got undressed. But you couldn’t exactly ignore it as you grabbed a clean pair of painties because the ones you’d been wearing were nearly soaked from filming that scene.

That was the first time anything physical any time had happened between the two of you. Sure, you’d gotten plenty of hugs and playful shoves as you both goofed around. But the connection you two had was completely undeniable once his lips touched yours.

You wondered what it would be like, to be with him. To have his arms wrapped around you. To have his lips back on yours, to have his lips on your neck, traveling south. You gulped at the thought as you tried to block out what it would feel like to have him inside you while he breathed heavily next to your ear. You couldn’t help yourself as you stood in the shower from relieving yourself of some of the tension that was so built up. You lifted the shower head from the wall and moved it down your body, using the pressure from the warm water to massage your clit until you felt the release of an orgasm.

As you came down from your momentary high, you snapped out of it. You hooked the shower head back up to the wall and washed the day’s makeup off of your face before getting out. Somehow, your shower had only made you feel dirtier.

You were not going to get involved with Jensen Ackles. You couldn’t. It wasn’t right. He was _happily married_. And judging by the look he had on his face after that scene, he didn’t want anything to do with you. His arousal might have given him away, but sometimes guys couldn’t control their bodily functions; so you shook the thought off as you snuck off set for the day unnoticed.

You went straight to bed once you got home, not caring that it was hardly seven o’ clock. You just needed the comfort of your bed. You wrapped yourself up in your blankets and tried to erase any and all thoughts that were more than friendly about Jensen. You only poked your head up out of the covers when your phone buzzed. You felt slightly relieved to see that it was Misha.

Misha: _you left awfully fast today. You ok?_

You thought about it for a second, you definitely weren’t okay. Not to mention you had to film a, “morning after” scene with Jensen the next day, which meant you’d be in bed with him, half naked.

Y/N: _yeah, i’m fine._

You closed your eyes, hoping that Misha would leave it at that. You weren’t sure you could handle trying to explain these feelings you were having to anyone. Not yet. And who would you trust? The only friends you had were fellow cast members, and you didn’t really talk to your family, so that left you with no one.

Luckily you didn’t get a text back from Misha. Which meant one of two things: he believed you, or he didn’t, and planned on drilling you about it tomorrow. You’d never left set like that before, and now you weren’t so sure that it was the right thing to do.

Thinking long and hard, you decided that maybe you should text Jensen. It shouldn’t be weird, he was your friend. And maybe you had just been imagining things earlier. Maybe that wasn’t his hard on that you felt, maybe it was just his…phone?

_Just, text him_. You thought to yourself. You guys had been cool for two years. You sat up in bed and opened his chat on your phone. You hadn’t texted him in a few weeks, not since the last convention. You always sent each other crazy stuff while the other was doing a panel. You took a deep breath before typing up a message.

Y/N: _What’s up?_

You tried to play it cool. It was such a simple message. You only started to panic as the minutes passed and he didn’t answer.

_Fuck_. This wasn’t good. You felt like this was all your fault, even though you were both only doing your jobs. That kiss just had, so much meaning in it. There was such a connection. The butterflies you had in your stomach, the way you trembled slightly under his touch, and just…him. You tossed your phone to the other side of the bed and laid back down. Trying to clear your thoughts.

——–

It was one of those mornings when you heard your alarm in your sleep, but you didn’t wake up for a good ten minutes. When you did wake up, the sound of your alarm nearly deafened you. Reaching for your phone as you sat up, you shut your alarm off.

You just sat there for a moment, looking around your room. It was time to get up and head to work. But as you stood up, memories of yesterday flooded your mind.

_Shit. That thing with Jensen._

How the hell were you going to get through today? You felt bad enough that after just a kiss you had to rush to your shower and let your fantasies get the best of you. But laying in bed with him? That was going to be a hard one. And you couldn’t forget that he just, didn’t text you back last night. Which told you everything you needed to know right there. Especially since it was strange for him not to answer you.

—-

You were right about filming the morning after scene with Jensen. It was hard. Like _it,_ he, _his dick_ , was hard. There was no pretending that it was his phone this time.

The two of you spent a good amount of time lying in bed together for the scene, both of you half naked.

It started out not so bad, you were supposed to be “asleep”, which wasn’t so bad; except when Jensen rolled over to spoon you. That’s when you felt his hard on, and after a moment, you stretched as you were supposed to be waking up. You rolled over onto your back as he began to “wake up”.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low. Even though he was just acting, it send chills through you.

“Hey.”

As his arm rested across your torso, you were sure that Jensen could hear your heart pounding. He leaned down to kiss you; this time, you were much more prepared. However his lips were still soft, and his hand traveling up your body to cup your cheek caused you to moan quietly, and unintentionally. Only Jensen heard you.

The scene moved onto the part where you needed to roll on top of him. You straddled him as you continued to kiss him, your tongues exploring each others’ mouths. You both damn near forgot what you were doing. His arms wrapped around you tightly, and you grinded against his dick, which was honestly just an involuntary response. This time he was the one that moaned quietly. His hands moved under the sheets to grip onto your hips before the scene ended.

You would’ve been lying if you said ending it right there was easy. Because it wasn’t. You wanted him, badly. You couldn’t hide it anymore. As you stood up, one of the crew members handed you your robe, and Jensen his. This time, it was you avoiding eye contact with him.

“Y/N,” you heard him try to get your attention, but you just walked away. Since that seemed to be the only take of that scene, you wouldn’t be needed again for a couple of hours.

You glanced up at Jensen, who was on the other side of the bed before walking away. You walked and walked and you didn’t stop until you were in the trailer lot. You walked around to the side of your trailer and went inside to find a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Oddly enough, it was Jensen’s shirt that you’d found. He’d given one to you after a prank that left you covered in whip cream. It smelled like him, and it was more comforting than it should’ve been

This was messed up. This was all _very_ messed up. You sat down on the floor in your trailer and leaned against the wall. You brought your knees to your chest and rested your head there. Trying not to think about it. About any of it. You needed these feelings to go away, and fast.

You sighed before you heard your trailer door open. You knew it was Jensen by the way he opened your door. It sounded strange, but he opened it differently than anyone else.

“Y/N, we need to talk.” you rubbed your eyes before you decided to stand up. You hugged yourself with your arms, trying not to make eye contact with him.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Jen.” You shrugged. Even though you were very obviously lying.

“Fine, whatever.” Jensen seemed kind of annoyed, but you told yourself that you couldn’t afford to care about that right now. He turned and walked back out of your trailer, and you sat down at your table.

You were still aching for him. You pressed your legs together to try and help with the need for friction. There was lots you and Jensen needed to talk about. But you just, couldn’t. Then it would become real, and that would become a problem; and you had to avoid becoming _the other woman_ at all costs.


	2. Phone Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have been strange on set since you’d filmed those scenes with Jensen. Things get heated during a convention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say this now, this story is going to involve a lot of cheating. I do not condone cheating in any way, this is simply for the purpose of fiction.
> 
> Also I love Daneel and don't mean to disrespect her in anyway. 
> 
> Please enjoy <3

Over the next couple of weeks, things had been…awkward between you and Jensen. No matter what you did, you couldn’t get him out of your head. You’d lie awake at night, watching old gag reels and outtakes, just to see him. Your heart would skip a beat when you saw him smile; and your breath would slip away when you heard his laugh.

You’d also been avoiding Misha and Jared. At least when Jensen wasn’t around anyway. When the four of you were together, there was too much goofing around to give either of them the chance to ask you about anything. They didn’t know about what had happened on set, but they could tell that something was up.

You’d been sitting on the steps outside your trailer when you heard his voice. You looked over to see Jensen standing between two other trailers, on the phone. He paced around as he talked; as he often did. It was a habit you’d noticed he had over the last couple of years. He glanced up and made eye contact with you, but you looked away quickly.

But damn did he look good. He had just filmed a scene where he was working on the impala, so he was in just jeans and a white t-shirt, and covered –in fake– grease. You were sure that your face was red just from the sight of him like that..

You pulled out your phone and pretended to be doing something, but you could still feel his eyes on you. Over the sound of generators, you couldn’t hear what he was saying, but you assumed he was talking to Daneel, you could hear softness in his muffled voice. You only wished that it was you that he was talking to like that.

You decided to take a deep breath and look back over at him, your heart stopping as he leaned against a trailer, looking directly at you. His tongue darted out and licked his lips before he looked down.

“What babe?” you heard him say. Great. You were distracting him and all you were doing was sitting there. Jensen looked up at you once more before you got up and went into your trailer.

_Why won’t this just stop?!_ You thought to yourself as you sat down at your table. You propped your elbows up on the table and buried your face in your hands as you tried with everything you had to just stop thinking about him like this.

If you hadn’t’ve filmed those damned scenes. If you hadn’t’ve auditioned for a roll on the show in the first place. You sighed as you felt a pang in your chest from the thought of Jensen never entering your life.

The butterflies that you felt in your stomach from Jensen looking at you like that outside. Like he wanted to devour you, it sent chills through you. You rested your head on the table, feeling almost nauseous from all of this.

The worst part of it all was, what if you were imagining it? What if you were completely misinterpreting what was going on? Jensen was so happy with Daneel. He loved her more than anything. His face lights up from just the mention of her name.

Not to mention, the convention this weekend? That you were heading out to tonight? Conventions were crazy. Fun, but crazy. Luckily you didn’t have to deal with any questions about those scenes you’d filmed. That episode didn’t air for another few weeks.

_Oh God, I have a panel with Jensen._ Your thoughts were driving you crazy. You hit your forehead on the table before checking the time. You needed to finish up on set before leaving tonight.

You stood up and made your way back outside, being met face to face with Misha.

“Hey.” you breathed out as you kept walking.

He followed you, and you tried to ignore the suspicious look he had on his face.

“So-” he trailed off.

“So?”

“So are you gonna talk?” he asked you.

“Talk about what?”

“Whatever’s been up with you and Jensen.” You stopped walking and turned to look at him. You didn’t think he noticed. You didn’t think anyone noticed. _This was bad._

Your heart dropped to your stomach as you tried to find something to say. He couldn’t know.

“Mish-” you were interrupted by your phone ringing, it was someone from the set probably calling to tell you that you needed to head back. You silenced the call- “Look, I’ve gotta finish up, we’ll talk this weekend.”

Without another word you spun and continued walking back to set, thankful that you were able to dodge that bullet.

“Promise?” Misha called after you.  
  
“ _Promise!_ ” you called back, waving at him as you walked away. You actually had no intention of telling him the truth, but you’d have some time to think of something before you saw him again. You needed to get your thoughts straightened out.

You weren’t going to let your feelings get out of hand. Maybe you’d call Jensen tomorrow, finally talk to him. Maybe you’d finally get some confirmation that this was all in your head.

——–

The convention was going better than you expected. You were super excited to see other cast members and hang out with fans. Your panel with Jensen also went better than expected. You were both able to pick up where you’d left off weeks ago. It felt nice, and you hadn’t realized how much you missed talking with him until your panel.

There was the occasional touch between you two; he’d put his arm around you, you would playfully hit him, or you would both be reenacting something silly for fans. Your skin did crawl from the lightest of touch, but you never got too distracted.

After the long and busy day, you were back in your hotel room for the night. You’d been drinking with everyone, and right now you were just laying on your bed, enjoying your buzz. You thought about calling Jensen and talking to him, but you couldn’t. Even with all of the confidence that alcohol gave you.

You sat up when your phone dinged, indicating that you’d received a text. Before looking at it, you got up and changed into pyjama shorts and a tank top. You reached for a drink of water before grabbing your phone. You’d nearly choked when you saw that it was Jensen that’d texted you.

You didn’t realize that you were smiling like an idiot and you suddenly felt the warm fuzziness of your buzz all over again. You opened the text, which nearly made your heart stop

Jensen: _come to my room?_

He had definitely been drinking as well. There’s no way he would ask that in his right mind.

Y/N: _um thats probably a bad idea._

Jensen: _why?_

You sighed. Was he really this buzzed or was he validating that it was all in your head? Before all of this happened, it wouldn’t be strange for you to hang out with him, or any other cast member late at night during a convention.

Y/N: _you know why_

Jensen: _cause of filming those scenes? Look Y/N it was nothing. I can’t help how my body reacts._

You thought about that for a moment. There were a few different ways that you could interpret that. There was a few responses that you could have to that. You leaned back on the headboard and bit your lip as you typed out the next message.

Y/N: _I can’t help how my body reacts either.._

Jensen texted back almost instantly. You knew this was wrong. You shouldn’t be doing this, at all.

Jensen: _how does it react?_

Y/N: _well for one, it’s like i can’t breathe around you…which is frustrating as hell.._

Jensen: _is that all?_

Y/N: _it’s all that i can tell you.._

You leaned your head back for a minute, you didn’t know what the hell you were doing. You were shaking from just texting him. But the second you heard your phone ring again, indicating that Jensen was calling you, your eyes shot open. But you couldn’t not answer.

“Uh, hey?” you answered.

“That’s all you can tell me? I’d like to think I know you better than that, Y/N.”

You let out a deep breath, not knowing what to say. He _did_ know you better than that.

“Y/N, would you feel better if I told you I had to touch myself after that scene?” he said, his voice a few octaves lower than normal.

Did he just say that? You thought. Was he really going there?

“Y-you did? Really?” you stumbled over your words, unsure of where this was going.

“Really,” Jensen paused for a moment, “Wait, why do you sound so– you did too didn’t you?”

“No.” you spat out before you had the chance to even think about the question.

“Don’t lie.” His voice was becoming breathy at this point and you knew where this was headed.

“O-okay, um..maybe-”

“I knew it.” Jensen cut you off. You could hear the smile in his voice, which made you feel tingly.

“Don’t laugh at me.” you said.

“Do I sound like I’m laughing?”

“You sound like you’re smiling.” you told him.

He was quiet for a moment, and you realized that what you just said meant that you paid way too much attention to him. A ‘normal’ friend couldn’t just hear you smiling.

“So, how’d you do it?”

“What?” that took you by surprise. Though this entire conversation was taking you by surprise.

“How’d you touch yourself?” Jensen’s voice got even lower if that was even possible, which caused the need for friction between your legs.

“Jensen-” you said breathlessly. You couldn’t do this. It wasn’t right, and you just couldn’t do it. You couldn’t make sense of much else.

“ _Hey,_ it’s okay.” Jensen assured you.

_Fuck._ Your heart practically stopped.

“I um- I used the shower head. Not that exciting.” you admitted.

You could practically hear what you assumed to be Jensen biting his lip.

“Touch yourself now..” Jensen trailed off. His voice could put you in your grave.

Without thinking, you laid back, and your hand travelled down and slipped into the waistband of your shorts. You moaned ever so slightly as your fingers ran along your wet folds, Jensen didn’t say anything, but you heard him unbuckling his pants. Your eyes closed as your finger gently teased at your clit.

_So we’re really doing this_ , you thought.

You heard Jensen groan slightly as he began touching himself; slowly stroking his cock as you whimpered quietly into the phone.

“ _Baby,_ I wish you were on my cock right now.” He whispered as you dipped a finger into your entrance and curled it upwards.

“ _God..tell me more_.” you moaned.

“I’d fuck you,  _so good_ -” you pushed another finger inside yourself, rubbing against your g-spot as you began massaging your clit with your thumb- “ _I’d make you scream_.”

You thought about what it would be like for him to be lying on top of you right now, fucking you into the mattress as you begged for more.

“ _Mmm, yes_.” you moaned as you approached your release. A release you craved to feel with only Jensen.

‘ _Mm_ , and I’d lick your pussy until you were trembling…I bet you taste… _oh fuck_..”

“ _Jensen-_ ” you breathed out, you were so close.

“ _That’s it baby girl_ , come for me.”

“ _Oh God, Jensen…yes.._ ” You let out a strangled moan as you began to come. You rubbed your clit faster as your walls tightened around your fingers. You heard Jensen try to keep quiet as he came. The thought of him being able to come, from just the sound of you coming made you want him even more.

You breathed heavily as you came down from your high; and then it clicked. The guilt, You shouldn’t have done that. That was not something you did when you were married. Jensen just cheated.

“Um, I should go.” you spat out.

“You okay?” He asked, his voice slowly returning to normal.

“Yeah…I’ll uh, see you in the morning.”

Without hung up before he had the chance to say anything else.

_Shit, what the fuck was that???_ You thought. That was everything that you’d been trying to avoid. You leaned over to shut the lamp off that was on the nightstand. You rolled over, pulling the blankets up over your shoulder. Luckily the alcohol helped you fall asleep quickly, otherwise you would’ve been up for hours thinking about what just happened.

—-

The next morning, you sat in the green room, drinking tea as you tried to get over the little bit of a hangover that you’d had. You didn’t think you drank that much last night, but considering what happened during your phone call with Jensen; it made sense.

You looked up and froze when you saw Jensen and Jared walk into the room. Jensen looked at you and smirked, that damned smirk that could undo you in seconds.

Your eye contact with him was broken when Misha plopped down next to you on the couch.

“So this is why you wouldn’t talk about what was up with you?” he asked

You set your tea down and looked at him, trying to maintain a straight face as you played the innocence card. He didn’t know, he couldn’t, right?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Mish.” You said as you picked up your tea again, sipping from the mug before it got cold.

Misha looked at you, with what had to be one of the most serious looks he’d ever given you- “You have feelings for Jensen, don’t you?”


	3. Not Now, Not Today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> History that you have with someone might conflict somethings when it comes to Jensen.

You practically spit out your tea.

“No, Misha. I don’t” you deadpanned. And you weren’t lying, you didn’t have feelings for him. What you felt was strictly sexual, you were… _pretty sure_ of it.

“Yes you do.” He responded, and unfortunately, you weren’t going to get out of this one. But if you had to let him think that you had a crush on Jensen so that you didn’t have to tell him about the whole phone sex thing, so be it.

“I don’t know.” you sighed as you set your now empty mug down.

“I do-” Misha leaned back on the couch as you stared hopelessly at Jensen- “you used to look at me like that.”

Your head whipped around to look at him when he said that.

“That was a long time ago.” you reminded him

“I know, I know-” he threw his hands up in defense- “I’m just saying, I remember that look.”

“You would.” You teased lightly.

You looked back towards Jensen, hoping that Misha would change the subject. He made eye contact with you from across the room for a moment before looking away, almost as if he was afraid for anyone to see.

“Does he know?” He asked you.

“About you and me or…?” you trailed off.

“Your feelings for him.”

You nodded as you looked across the room. More people were filing in now, cast members, convention and hotel staff, but all you saw was green eyes.

“I need some air.” you said as you stood up. You looked away from Jensen as you made your way out of the green room without so much as waving at Misha.

You walked down the hallway, turning random doorknobs until one finally opened, revealing a meeting room. You closed the door behind you and went to sit down in one of the giant, cushy office chairs. You swiveled around in it for a minute before you started patting yourself down, realizing that your phone wasn’t on you. You forgot that your shorts didn’t have any pockets, so you stood up, sighing, not wanting to go back to the green room.

Just as you placed your hand on the doorknob, the door began to open and you jumped back. Your shoulders slumped when you saw that it was Misha.

“Jesus, Mish.” you placed your hand on your chest, trying to slow your heart rate.

“Sorry, I figured this is where you went-” he held out your phone as he closed the door behind him- “figured you’d want this.”

You looked down at your phone as you reached to grab it, only for Misha to playfully pull away and hold it over his head.  
  
“ _Come on!_ ” you whined. You weren’t in the mood for games, but you had to admit, having to jump to try and reach your phone made you laugh. You’d been in such a funk the last couple of weeks that it wasn’t taking much to make you smile.

“You gotta jump higher than that!-” Misha teased as you gripped onto the front of his shirt and more or less began climbing him.

“Misha let go!” you said as you used all of your strength to pull him down.

Before you knew it your were both giggling at your failed attempts to retrieve your phone; that is until you caught the familiar scent of his cologne, causing you to look up into his blue eyes.

You were bent pretty far backwards and holding yourself up with Misha’s arm as he was bent over you when you both froze, your faces just inches apart.

You thought back to your first weeks on set, when you and Misha goofing around like this was normal. But then you remembered how things ended, causing you to come to your senses. Just as Misha began to lean in, you let go of him and fell to the floor, landing on your bottom.

Misha was always so sweet to you. So it didn’t surprise you that he handed you your phone as he sat down on the floor in front of you.

“Sorry-” he said as he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck.

“S’okay.” you shrugged, checking your phone.

You opened the text that’d you’d gotten when you were trying to wrestle your phone from Misha.

Jensen: _Sorry about last night. Wont happen again._

Your face fell the instant you’d read it, not that you were surprised to be receiving a text like that from him. You just thought that maybe..well, you didn’t know what you thought. You’d been trying to block out any feelings you’d had about last night, which is why you’d left the green room in the first place.

You practically bit through your tongue to try and hide it, but Misha knew you too well.

“What is it?” he asked, taking your phone from you. He must’ve read the messages from last night as well, because he handed your your phone back and stood up.

“Look, Y/N,” he started, you looked up at him as he spoke, “I don’t know what happened between you guys, but..I’m here, just know that.”

You thought about it for a minute as you took his hand and stood up. The way he said that, he couldn’t still be waiting for you, could he?

“You’re not-” you shook your head and trailed off for a moment- “Misha you’re not still in love with me, are you?”

He shrugged, “It is what it is I guess.”

Your heart sank. Things with Misha had ended so long ago.

“We haven’t talked about us, things kind of just..ended.” he added.

“Do we need to talk about it?” you began, “I thought things were pretty clear..”

You shook your head before pushing around him and leaving the room. You weren’t dealing with this. Not now, not today. You had photo ops soon, and you needed your head to be on straight.

—-

Finally, the end of the day had arrived. It wasn’t a bad day, by any means. But it was a long one. The only time that you’d been able to tune out thoughts of Jensen were when you were with fans. Which you loved, but it got tiring after meeting fans all day, for hours.

You were finishing up some things in the dressing room, getting changed out of your character’s clothes –you, like Misha, dressed up in character for photo ops–, and plugging your phone in. You were kind of relieved that it had died, all you had been able to do all day was reread that text from Jensen, and worry about getting something from Misha. You did not want to finish that talk you had started having with him earlier. You left him for a number of reasons. Reasons you didn’t feel like talking about.

You’d zoned out so much that you were now the last one left in the dressing room, which was shared by the entire cast. You were thankful for the much needed privacy that the room dividers didn’t really offer.

You looked up when you’d heard a knock at the door.

“Anyone in here?” It was Jensen, he’d cracked the door open some.

You stood there for a minute, unsure of how to answer. You weren’t ready to face him. When Jensen walked in, you turned around, leaving your phone on the table behind you to charge.

“Hey, uh, you didn’t say-” he began

“I know.” You turned back around to try and turn your phone on, just to have something to do. Which probably made you look crazy, doing all of this spinning around.

“You okay?” he asked, you could hear him walking towards you.

“M’ fine.” you mumbled as your heart began racing.

“Is this about that phone call last night?”

You took a deep breath before turning back around, Jensen now just a few feet in front of you. He looked almost apologetic. Now you were beginning to wonder if it was really him who’d send you that text earlier.

“Check the last text you sent me.” you stated. Jensen looked at you, confused, but he did as you said. His eyes widened when he’d seen it.

“I-I didn’t send this.”

You bit your bottom lip, trying to figure out who would have, or who could have. Misha was your first thought, maybe he’d gotten ahold of Jensen’s phone right after you’d left the green room that morning.

“I believe you.” you said softly.

You wiped your sweaty palms on the front of your shorts as an awkward silence grew. You and Jensen weren’t on the phone, and the confidence boost of alcohol was definitely lacking.

“I can go-” Jensen suggested, pointing to the door and stepping back slightly. You struggled with it, but you made eye contact with him. You surprisingly relaxed a little, he was after all the same Jensen that he’d always been. He was still your friend. Maybe you could put all of this behind you.

Except that you didn’t want to. Not deep down.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped forward, “I don’t want you to go.” You kept a straight face, as if you were testing the waters and seeing what he would do.

“Then I won’t.” Jensen’s voice was low as he reached out for you and gripped onto your hips tightly. You looked into his eyes, seeing nothing but lust as your breath hitched.

His tongue darted out to lick his lips as he pulled you in and leaned down and kissed you, hard. It was what you’d been waiting for, what he’d been waiting for. Your body needed him, and a phone call wasn’t going to be anywhere near as satisfying as the real thing.

Jensen began to step forward, backing you up against the table where your phone was charging. You hopped up onto it, gripping onto Jensen’s shirt as if your life depended on it. You deepened the kiss, pushing your tongue into his mouth and melting into him, you missed the way he tasted, ever since you’d filmed those scenes with him a few weeks ago, you been craving it. Even though you knew it was wrong.

One of his hands had wandered to one of your breasts as your hands moved down to unbuckle his pants. You weren’t going to stop this time. There was no one to yell cut, there weren’t crew members watching you. It was just you and Jensen.

You moaned into his mouth as the hand he’d had on your breast moved down to cup your clothed sex. You wrapped your legs around his waist when you’d finished undoing his pants.

You were so close to getting what you wanted; but when someone knocked on the door, you gasped.

When you heard the door open, you both stopped as if someone had yelled cut. You grabbed your phone and turned it on as Jensen quickly fixed his pants back up.

You didn’t even bother looking up to see who had walked in, you just focused on turning your phone on, as if nothing was happening.

“You guys gonna come to the bar?” You let out a sigh when you heard Jared’s voice. If you had to choose anyone to catch you and Jensen, it’d be him. You were sure he didn’t see anything though.

“Yeah, I’m comin’” Jensen answered him, you tuned out the rest of their exchange when you opened your unread text. You seemed to be getting a lot of texts lately, and it was giving you anxiety. Before you could read it, the boys were whistling at you to get your attention.

“Yeah?” You looked between the two of them and smiled.

“You comin’?” Jensen asked you.

You forced yourself back to reality while they waited for an answer, “Yeah, uh, let me run up to my room to get some different shoes, and I’ll be ready.”

You hopped down from the table and gathered up your things.

“I’ll go with you-” Jensen started before turning to Jared- “we’ll meet you there. Gotta keep any crazy fans off of Y/N.”

You swallowed thickly as you stood up from leaning down to unplug your charger from the wall. You knew exactly why Jensen wanted to come with you, and it wasn’t to keep crazy fans off of you.


	4. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Temptation finally starts to get the best of you, things with Misha start to become complicated.

You made eye contact with Jensen as Jared left the room. You wanted him, you really did, probably more than anything; but it still felt so wrong. It _was_ wrong. You tried ignoring the way your body was still reacting to him from just moments ago; and started walking, making your way out of the room and into the hallway. You didn’t look behind you to see if Jensen had followed you or not, you just needed to get to the elevator.

Memories of your time in the shower a few weeks ago after filming those _damned_ scenes with him flooded your mind.

“Y/N.” you finally heard Jensen from behind you as you walked. You looked back at him and took a deep breath before turning and opening the door to the stairwell.

You walked up a couple of steps and turned around as you waited for Jensen. You leaned back to look up the stairs to make sure you were alone before sitting down.

“What are we doing, Jen?” you asked him as he walked in.

“What do you mean?”

“We can’t do this,” you began, “I-I can’t be _that_ girl.”

Jensen crouched down in front of you and took your hands in his. His touch was intoxicating, it made your skin crawl every time. You tried to tune out thoughts of him running his fingers over your throbbing center while you tried to hold this conversation.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”  
  
“I-I haven’t-” you tried to deny it, but he was right, you had been avoiding him.

“Y/N, yes you have.” He nodded, unintentionally glancing down at your cleavage as you sat there.

You pulled your hands away from his and ran a hand through your hair. You didn’t know what to say anymore. You didn’t know what to do either.

Looking down, you spotted Jensen’s left hand, sitting on your knee, his wedding ring on full display.

You reached down and grabbed his left hand and pulled it into your lap. It was funny to you, how something like this still felt so normal.

“You love her so much, Jen-” you started as you twisted his ring around on his finger- “you shouldn’t ruin it. We’ve already crossed the line.”

You could feel Jensen’s tension as you played with his hand. He watched you intently, waiting to see if you were going to say something else. He did love Daneel. He loved her so, so much, and he had no idea why he had these feelings for you. But he did, and ever since you had that phone call last night, all he’d wanted to do was taste _you_.

And he didn’t just want to taste your lips. He wanted to suck at the pulse point on your neck. He wanted to nibble at your chest while his hands roamed your body. He wanted to run his tongue along your folds that he knew damn well were soaked right now. Just the thought of how you might taste made his cock twitch underneath the denim of his jeans.

“I do love her.” He said, his voice low. You finally looked up at him before standing.

Jensen stood up as well. You were eye level with him since you were still standing on the stairs.

_God damn his green eyes._

“I should go get those shoes.” you said, but you couldn’t move. All you could do was look into Jensen’s eyes while your heart tried to leap out of your chest.

You were almost able to tear your gaze from him until his hands found your waist and pulled you in. But it was you who kissed him, and you couldn’t help it. You were beating yourself up internally for it, but whatever the hell was going on with you two was damn near magnetic. He tasted sweet, with the lingering taste of whiskey from the occasional drink throughout the day. When his tongue entered your mouth, you melted into him, moaning quietly as his hands slid down and gripped onto your ass. If you hadn’t snapped back to reality you would’ve fucked him right there on that flight of stairs.

You pulled back just as Jensen had begun kissing his way down your neck.

“I can’t.” you whispered, resting your forehead against his briefly before turning away and running up the stairs. You glanced back at Jensen, not surprised to see him wearing a confused yet guilty look.

You’d never wanted to be taken advantage of more in your entire life than you did right now, and it was killing you. You hurried the rest of the way to your room, slightly out of breath from running up the stairs. You plugged your phone back in before plopping down on the floor next to your bed, and actually taking the time to read that text from earlier.

Your eyes widened as you saw an old picture of Misha, from Misha. When you were together, you’d loved that picture, and you’d forgotten it existed. You’d taken it. It was of him laying in bed, his arm resting behind his head, the other arm pulling the bedsheet up to cover his naked form. His freckled chest covered in a thin layer of sweat, wearing a sexed out look that could put any woman in her grave. It had been too hot to do anything that day, it was in the middle of summer, and your A/C was broken, what else was a new couple to do other than stay in and have sex all day?

The smile that he wore in that picture was a smile that you hadn’t seen in a long time. The message was accompanied by a simple ‘look what I found’ caption. As good as some of your memories with Misha were, there were more bad than good.

The relationship was jealous, short lived, and when you weren’t in bed with each other, you were screaming at each other. There was a fire that burned inside of you when it came to him, he was your first love. Your first true love. You fell in love quickly, as did he. Going there with Misha was not an option in your eyes. You hurt too badly for too long after you ended things with him.

You decided to send a simple text back to Misha, deciding not to sound like you were rejecting him. For all you know he simply could have just stumbled upon that picture.

Y/N: _Haha good times._

You left it at that before getting up and changing your shoes and then leaving your room and heading back downstairs. You weren’t particularly in the mood for going out to the bar, but there were people you wanted to see before the convention was over.

_That was the dumbest possible text I could have send him_ , you thought.

You rolled your eyes at yourself as you left the hotel, and walked down the street to the bar. You walked in, excited to be greeted by everyone. Your eyes scanning the crowd of cast members, and you noted that it didn’t look like Jensen made it.

It wasn’t surprising, after what you had considered a near hook up in the stairwell. Everyone looked to be in conversation, and you weren’t the type to interrupt. However, your eyes met Misha’s baby blues, and he smiled at you. You smiled back and walked over to him where he was sitting at the bar, taking the stool next to him.  

“Did you order my drink yet?” you asked him sarcastically.

“Shot of tequila and a Corona?” he confirmed, you’d been joking, but if he wanted to order for you, you weren’t one to complain.

You nodded in response, and as he turned back to the back to the bar to order it for you, you absentmindedly reached over and picked a fuzz out of his hair. He looked back at you and playfully swatted your hand away.

“Hey!” you smiled as you tried to ignore the more than friendly look he gave you.

“Where’d you run off to?” he asked you as the bartender sat your beer and shot down in front of you.

“I had to change my shoes.” You held your leg up as if to prove that’s what you’d done.

“And what about Jensen?”

You shrugged as you took your shot, cringing from the burn. Your first shot always made you cringe.

“Did you-” Misha trailed off as he made his suggestion.

“No,” you stated flatly, “you’re in my business quite a bit.” your tone changed from seriousness to sarcasm.

“It’s my job.” he shrugged as he took a drink from his beer, both of you smiling at each other.

—-

The rest of the night carried on like that, it was mostly just you and Misha hanging out, the entire time. You talked to other cast members, Jared picked you up and threatened to throw you, and you met a few fans. Jensen never showed up. You walked back to the hotel with Misha. You, him, and Jensen were actually only cast that stayed at the same hotel as the convention.

You’d gotten tipsy, maybe even a little giggly, but you weren’t drunk. The walk back was only a couple of minutes, and during that walk you’d realized Misha had been much more intoxicated than you, but he held his alcohol well.

Misha walked you back to your room, passing Jensen’s on the way. You’d go see what was up with him once Misha left.

“You’d think that more fans would go out looking for us than there were.” you said as you slid your key card into the slot on your door.

“Yeah, they’ll probably all be there tomorrow when we’re gone.” Misha laughed as you pushed your door open.

You sat down on your bed and kicked your shoes off, not expecting Misha to follow you in, but he did. He walked over to where you sat and knelt down in front of you. The alcohol allowing you to feel way too comfortable with him.

The distance between the wall and the bed was only a few feet. You slid down off of the bed to sit across from Misha.

“We used to do this more often.” he said, referring to how things were just a few weeks ago when you were closer with him and Jensen. The three of you would hang out like this, Jared joining in sometimes even.

“Yeah,” you answered, leaning your head back on the bed while you watched Misha move over next to you.

He leaned back on the bed and rested his head back as well. He threaded his fingers with yours and made eye contact with you. It felt familiar. It made your heart flutter. But you couldn’t do it.

“Misha-” you trailed off, pulling your hand away gently and sitting up- “It’s late, you should get back to your room.”

There was hurt on Misha’s face as he stood up. He walked to the door, turning back to look at you once before opening the door.

“Night, Y/N.”

“Night, Mish.”

The second he closed your door you stood up. You needed to find out why Jensen never showed up. You checked your phone and surprisingly, you hadn’t received anything. You held onto it for comfort as you nervously poked your head out of your room; checking to make sure that Misha was gone.

Not bothering to put any shoes on, you slid out of your room and walked a few doors down, stopping at Jensen’s door and knocking. You felt a sudden change of heart as you waited.

He answered after only a couple of seconds, his stance relaxing when he saw you.

“Can I come in?” You asked, not caring if it sounded suggestive or not.

“Yeah, I uh- I know I didn’t make it to the bar.” He stood back as you let yourself into his room, not giving a rat’s ass about whatever he was saying.

He stood there rubbing the back of his neck as you closed the door and stepped towards him. You thought about what you could say to shut him up, but your body began reacting to him the second he opened the door. You stopped walking when you were only inches away from him. As you made eye contact with him you slid your shirt off and tossed it to the side, along with your phone, leaving you in just your bra and shorts.

You pulled your hair back, letting it fall down your back, giving Jensen a good view of your collarbone. He watched you for a moment, his green eyes blinking slowly, filling with lust.

You couldn’t wait any longer. You grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down to kiss you. You didn’t care about what you said earlier. You didn’t care if he was married, or if you were having some weird thing with Misha happening right now, if it was even a thing. You needed to fuck this man, and you were going to do it now.

You pushed him back until he fell on the bed and you crawled on top of him, straddling him as you kissed him. You bit his bottom lip before moving down to his jawline, then his neck.

“Y/N,” he breathed, egging you on even more.

You bit his neck, right above his pulse point as your hands moved between your bodies, working to unbutton his shirt.

“Y/N, stop.” Jensen said, grabbing your arms and sitting you up. He didn’t make you get off of him, but he might as well have.

“What?” you asked him as you folded your arms over your breasts, suddenly feeling a little chilly in just your bra.

“Can we at least talk about this first?”

You sighed before pushing yourself up and off of Jensen and rolling onto the bed.

“Fine. Let’s talk.” you said as you pulled the covers up over you and getting comfortable; you wouldn’t be leaving this room until you slept with Jensen.


	5. Almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally start to get what you want with Jensen, until there’s an interruption. You turn to Misha for comfort.

You scooted up against the headboard and waited for Jensen to say something. You didn’t want to talk about it. You didn’t think this was something that people talked about. But that’s what he wanted to do.

“Okay,” Jensen started, “Let’s put this in perspective.”

He moved and scooted up to the headboard next to you. You made eye contact with him as he continued.

“Worst case scenario. We sleep together, everyone finds out-” he took a deep breath before continuing- “my marriage goes down the drain, and both of our reputations are ruined.”

He’d obviously put a lot of thought into this. Could that have been what he’d been doing while you were out at the bar?

“Okay.” was all you could think to say.

“Okay..now you.” You broke eye contact for a moment to stare at your hands, which you’d placed in your lap.

“Now me what?” you asked.

“What’s the best case scenario?”

This was definitely killing the mood. You shoved the blanket away from you, suddenly feeling too hot. You made eye contact with Jensen to see him sneaking glances at your chest, at your half naked form. You’d almost forgotten that you were still in your bra with the way his eyes bored into you.

“Is there a best case scenario?” you scooted closer to him to play with the buttons on his shirt, slowly working to undo them while you spoke- “I mean, I’m about to fuck a married man-”

You trailed off as you leaned in, brushing your lips against Jensen’s, who was still trying to hold his composure.

“It just, either stays a secret or it doesn’t” you added, whispering against Jensen’s lips, waiting for him to just kiss you already.

“Is it just a one time thing?” Jensen asked, his voice much lower than it was a minute ago. He snuck in a soft kiss while he waited for your answer, his hand reaching forward to hold onto your waist. Your heart fluttering from the kiss.

“I don’t know.” you answered. You just needed him, you didn’t want to talk anymore. You pressed your lips into his, your heart pounding, your body trembling with nervousness. You didn’t think this would actually happen; and now it was suddenly so real.

Jensen’s tongue slid into your mouth as you scooted down on the bed, he followed you and came up to lay on top of you, between your legs. You hadn’t put much thought into the fact that he’d only been wearing his boxers when you showed up at his door, but as you felt his erection pressing into the thin fabric of your shorts, you definitely thought about it.

Your lips moved in sync with his while you tasted each other. You’d finally managed to unbutton his shirt all the way, God knows why he was wearing a button down with his boxers. Maybe he was changing when when you knocked on his door. He pressed his throbbing arousal into your clothed sex, causing your hips to buck up into him.

You began sliding his shirt down his broad, muscular shoulders as his lips worked their way down to your neck, biting and licking in all the right places.

He took his the rest of the way off before he threaded his arm behind your back and unhooked your bra. You took the hint and slid it off, tossing it to the side; giving Jensen a good view of your breasts.

“God, you’re beautiful.” He growled as he dove down to taste you, all of you. Your fingers tangled themselves into his short locks as he moved down more, taking one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and lightly biting, making you moan.

“Please Jen, _I need you_.” you mewled as he continued working his way down your torso. His eyes never leaving yours while his large hands slid down your sides until his fingers hooked into the waistband of your shorts. He effortlessly tugged them down, along with your panties. Your head fell back as he began to kiss your inner thighs, biting and squeezing everywhere except where you needed him to the most.

Your pussy throbbed for him, causing you to cry out as he ran a thumb over your clit while still kissing along your thighs. You were already soaked when he began lightly circling your clit with his thumb; but he was doing it so teasingly, so slow, and so lightly that you couldn’t take anymore.

“ _Please-_ ” you moaned as his mouth finally made it’s way to the apex of your thigh, kissing you there, so close, but not close enough.

Occasionally his tongue would swipe to the side while he kissed you, just barely brushing over your wet folds, your hips involuntarily bucking each time.

“ _God- Jensen, please-_ ” you begged. Jensen kissed the apex of your thigh one last time before moving over and kissing your throbbing clit, parting your lips with his fingers as he did so.

You let out a louder than necessary moan, your arm covering your face as his tongue licked a stripe up your folds. You weren’t far off from falling apart. You were so close in fact that as soon as his tongue began to flick your clit, you began writhing. You let out a loud moan you were sure someone would hear, but you didn’t care.

Pleasure pulsed through your body all the way down to your toes. Jensen slowly brought a finger to your entrance as he circled your clit with his tongue as if to hold off your orgasm. To your surprise he inserted two fingers inside of you and curled them upwards, repeatedly and quickly; rubbing your g-spot each time his fingers curled. Your back arched and you were sure that if your jaw dropped anymore, it would fall off. He removed his mouth from your throbbing sex as he inserted a third finger, keeping up with the pace he had with his two fingers. You were trembling around him as your body cried out, chasing an orgasm.

“Jensen I-I _need- ahhhh-_ ” you moaned.

“You need what?” He asked you as he began scissoring his fingers and thrusting them further inside of you.

“ _Oh god- I need to come baby-_ ” you whined as he finally took the hint.

The pace of his fingers never slowed as he put his mouth back on you, flattening his tongue against your clit and lapping at your folds, your body still writhing as you began to tumble over the edge. You covered your mouth with your hand to keep from screaming as your orgasm ripped through you, Jensen slowing down ever so slightly, drawing it out.

Your ability to form words was non-existent as your body pulsed. Jensen’s mouth taking in your clit and sucking out what was left of your orgasm. When you came down, he pulled away, sliding his boxers down and allowing his long, thick erection to spring free.

Your body felt like jello when he came back ontop of you, kissing you passionately as he teased his cock at your entrance.

“You okay to keep going?” he asked you as he took your bottom lip into his mouth.

You nodded, still trying to catch your breath from your intense orgasm; but you weren’t leaving until you fucked this man.

“ _Told you I’d lick your pussy until you were trembling_ ,” he growled before you captured his lips once more as he thrust into you, his length stretching and filling you to the brim. It’d been so long since you’d had someone inside of you. You moaned as he began to move slowly, his face buried in the crook of your neck as your arms wrapped around him.

“Fuck” Jensen whispered against your neck as he slowly picked up his speed, but still keeping a smooth rhythm. You were much tighter than he’d anticipated, your walls clenching around him with each thrust.

Your moans began filling the room just as Jensen came to a standstill at the sound of his phone ringing.

“That’s Daneel’s ringtone.” he said, his tone of voice a horrified one.

“Let it ring, please just fuck me-” you begged, wrapping your legs around his waist, encouraging him on- “Forget about it, baby.”

“I-I can’t.” He whispered as he pulled out of you. He got up and answered the phone, pulling his boxers back on with one hand as he went on, as if nothing was happening.

But it was the way he answered, the way he got up, the way he left you there, naked in bed that really got you. When he answered his wife’s call with a soft ‘hey baby’, you felt a pang in your chest. Before you realized it, there were tears streaming down your face. It had all happened so quickly that it didn’t even register to you that you were crying until Jensen turned around to look at you, his eyes filled with concern.

_This is only physical_ , you tried telling yourself.

You quickly got up out of bed, sliding on your shorts and your shirt; not bothering with your bra. You just grabbed it and your phone before exiting the room; not  bothering to look back at Jensen.

You walked the short distance from his room to yours, noticing Misha in the hallway, probably just getting back from hanging out downstairs. You tried to ignore him, but the second his eyes fell on you, crying, lazily dressed, and coming back from Jensen’s room; he practically sprung into action.

“Y/N!” he called out quietly, sprinting over to you, but you’d already had your door unlocked.

You slammed the door behind you, leaning up against it as you looked at your phone, noticing a new text from Jensen. You thought about reading it, but all you could do was toss it across the room.

_How could I be so stupid?_ Your thoughts began to run wild as Misha began knocking on the door.

“ _Go away!”_ you shouted at him through the door.

“Y/N, _goddammit_ open the damn door.” he ordered you. You took a deep breath as you tried to calm yourself down. Misha wouldn’t leave until he knew you were alright.

You slowly turned around and let Misha in, not knowing what he would say.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” you cried, tears still streaming down your face.

“Did you sleep with him?” He asked, his voice calm and comforting as he shut the door behind him.

You nodded in response, ready for him to tell you how much of a slut you were. Ready for him to pick up his phone and call Daneel. Ready for him to judge you.

Except he didn’t judge you.

“ _Fuck!_ ” you shouted through your uncontrollable sobs, “I’m so stupid, Mish.”

“You’re not stupid.” Misha deadpanned as he reached up to cup your face in his hands, wiping your tears away with his thumbs before pulling your into a hug, and wrapping his arms around you.

“I-I should’ve known b-better.”

“It’ll be okay, Y/N-” Misha assured you as he stroked your hair with his hand. If there was one thing that Misha was always good at, it was making you feel better- “It’s late, why don’t you lay down.”

You reluctantly pulled away and nodded before walking over to your bed, still feeling like total shit after everything that’d just happened. You slid your shorts off and got under your messy covers and rolled over, facing the empty side of the bed. Misha was behind you, reaching to shut your lamp off for you.

“Misha?” you asked.

“Hmm?”

“C-can you stay?” You didn’t care if you were asking your ex to stay the night with you. He was always so much more than just your ex. Right now, he was your only friend.

“Of course.” He leaned down kissed you on your forehead before walking to the other side of the bed. You closed your eyes, willing the sting you felt in your eyes away. Almost as soon as the bed dipped, you scooted over more. Misha more than happily took you into his arms, and you noticed instantly that he’d taken his jeans and shirt off; but right now, you didn’t mind. Not even in the slightest. You needed it.

Without thinking, you looked up in the dark room, only able to see the sparkle of Misha’s eyes from the small amount of moonlight coming through the window. Before you had a chance to stop yourself, you leaned up and kissed him. His lips were just like you remembered them. chapped yet soft, and big enough to engulf your own, which is how you always got lost in him. His kiss was equally as soft as his tongue gently slid into your mouth, not caring that another man had been doing the same less than an hour ago.

He ran a hand through your hair before pulling away.

“Get some sleep.” he whispered as he pulled you back down and held you close until you drifted to sleep.


	6. New Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Jensen finally get some clarity on how you really feel about each other. Things with Misha take a turn.

One thing that you loved about sleep was, that unlike most, your dreams offered you a good distraction from what was going on in your life. When things got too overwhelming, your subconscious would take you elsewhere. This time however, when you woke up, you just felt empty. You dreamt of a time when you still talked to your family, when they still wanted you around.

You took in a deep breath as your eyes fluttered open and you realized you were still in Misha’s arms; and judging by the kink in your neck, neither of you had moved all night. As your mind woke up, you began to feel sick from the memory of everything that had happened last night.

_Jensen was married._ You shouldn’t have even went to his room. You should’ve just went to bed once you’d gotten back from the bar. Though you couldn’t help but think, what if you had stayed? Jensen might not have even been on the phone for very long. Hell, he probably wanted to comfort you after you’d gotten upset; but something stopped you from staying. It felt like you were invading his marriage. It felt like your friendship with him was slipping away.

You looked up as best as you could in the early morning light while still wrapped up in Misha to make sure he was still asleep. His breathing was still slow and his heartbeat was steady, but you wanted to look at him. He looked contented, like he hadn’t had a good sleep in a very long time.

You regretted kissing Misha, too. He could’ve gotten the wrong idea. But he was the one who pulled away, so who knows? You slowly tried to lift his arm so that you could get up but he wrapped it back around your waist. You tried to ignore the fluttering in your heart, but you couldn’t.

You’d eventually gotten out of his strong hold and replaced your body with a pillow. You stood up and walked across the room to where your phone was still lying on the floor and grabbed it before heading into the bathroom to take a shower. Your flight back to Vancouver didn’t leave until this afternoon, so you had plenty of time to get ready for the day, which you looked forward to.

You turned the shower on and closed the toilet seat before sitting down to check your phone, where there were two unread texts and a voicemail from Jensen. You braced yourself for whatever Jensen had to say as you opened the texts.

Jensen: _lets talk about this please_

Jensen: _I dont want this to be the only time._

You began to shake slightly as you called your voicemail. You chewed on your nails as you held your phone up to your ear and listened.

_Look, I know you’re probably asleep by now, but I-I just had to tell you…I think this is more than  just physical Y/N. I think I’m falling in love with you._

You hung up, not entirely sure if that was even the end of the message. You stood up and set your phone down on the edge of the sink, wiping the fog from the mirror with your hand. You looked awful. Your face was stained with eyeliner from all the crying you had done, accompanied by smeared lipstick and sex hair. You quickly pulled your shirt and panties off and stepped into the steaming shower, allowing the hot water to comfort you.

You poked your head out of the curtain at the sound of a knock at the bathroom door and a muffled, “It’s Misha!” coming from the other side.

“Come in!” you called back. _At least the shower curtain isn’t clear_ , you thought. Even though honestly it wasn’t anything that Misha hadn’t seen before.

He opened the door and stepped in as you went back in to wash your hair.

“You okay?” he asked.

You sighed as you thought about it for a second. The truth was, you felt heartbroken.

“Not really.” you answered, “Look Mish-” you poked your head out of the curtain to look at him- “about that kiss last night-”

“I know,” he interrupted, “you were upset, it happens.”

You tried to ignore the hurt in his eye as he opened his mouth to speak again.

“But for what it’s worth, I do still love you.”

You went back into the shower curtain as you absorbed what he’d just said. It just didn’t click right away. He may have practically told you that yesterday, but he didn’t come out and just say it like that.

“Um, why don’t you go pack and then come back? We can go get breakfast?” you suggested as you washed your hair a second time, completely forgetting that’s what you’d just done.

“Uh- sure.” Misha agreed before awkwardly exiting the bathroom. He was probably kicking himself.

You were falling in love with Jensen. It hit you like a truck as you finished your shower and leaned down to shut the water off.

Did it have something to do with the fact that Misha had just told you that he still loved you? You didn’t know. But you needed to tell Jensen.

You still felt awful about last night. But along with all of those negative feelings, arose new, positive ones.

You stepped out of the shower and towel dried your hair before wrapping a dry towel around your body and exiting the bathroom. You stared at your phone, nervous to call Jensen. What if he was mad at you for leaving? What if he was just…not in his right mind, and wasn’t really falling in love with you?

You hit the dial button before any more doubts crept into your mind. It rang once before he picked up.

“I’m falling in love with you too.” you blurted out before he even had the chance to say hello.

“Wh– really?” He stumbled over his words. He was in disbelief that you even called him. He’d been nothing but worried sick since last night.

“Um, yeah,” you began, “so– so what do we do?”

“I-I don’t know.”

You sucked your bottom lip into your mouth as you tried to figure out what to say.

“I uh- well I’m, um, having breakfast with Misha, so, when we get back to Vancouver we can…meet up? You rambled.

“I like that idea.” he agreed before you both said your goodbyes.

It was a simple phone call. A simple phone call that may have made you feel like a kid admitting to their crush that you liked them, but you felt better.

You’d almost forgotten that you were still just in your towel when Misha had let himself back in, must have grabbed your key card on his way out.

“Sorry, I can–” he started.

“No, no it’s okay. I can get dressed in the bathroom.” you assured him.

You stood up and walked over to your bag and grabbed your clothes while Misha set his bags down.

But as you walked by him on your way to the bathroom, you recognized that lustful look in his eyes that he used to get back when you were together. It wasn’t on purpose, Misha was being as respectful as possible. You didn’t know what had come over you whenever you dropped your clothes and grabbed the front of Misha’s t-shirt and crashed your lips into his.

It was the same feeling you’d had last night whenever you’d kissed him. There were butterflies in your stomach, and this time an ache in your core. He wrapped an arm around your waist as you backed up to your bed and fell back, taking him with you.

Misha broke away from you just long enough to get his t-shirt off and for you to unwrap your towel from your body. You didn’t feel shy in front of Misha at all. If anything, you felt confident. You knew that he loved your body, and the second you exposed yourself to him, he began peppering kisses along every inch of your body that he could.

You ran your fingers through his thick, dark brown hair as he kissed his way down your torso. It’d been so long since you’d been with Misha, and if you were being honest you didn’t think you’d ever be with him again.

You were breathing heavily as you pulled Misha back up to you and encouraged him to take his pants off, you needed him now, and you were going to get him.

You reached down as Misha got up to take his shoes and pants off to rub your fingers through your wet folds, spreading your legs and giving Misha a show. He growled as he’d finally gotten completely naked; you’d almost forgotten just how thick he was. Not that you’d thought about his cock much since you’d broken up.

Your hands flew up above your head as he grabbed your legs and pulled your ass to the edge of the bed; before reaching for a pillow and sliding it under your hips to raise you up slightly. While he was still standing, he guided his cock right to your entrance and pushed himself inside of you, earning a moan from you as he stretched and filled you up.

“ _Uh–fuck Mishaa_ ” you moaned as he began fucking you into the mattress. He held onto your thighs as he picked up the speed, he always liked it rough; and so did you, especially with him.

You moved your legs from his grasp before pulling him down. He knew what you were doing, your habits with him still being the same, no matter how long it’d been. He got up on the bed and leaned back against the headboard as you crawled over to straddle him, his hands finding your hips as you sank down onto his cock. His fingers dug into your hips as you started bouncing up and down on him, riding him like it was the only thing you knew how to do. You leaned down to kiss him, cupping his cheeks with your hands as your tongues rolled against each other.

Without realizing, you slowed your pace down as you moaned into each others mouths. Misha’s hands slid up to your waist, his thumbs tracing small circles against your skin as you tasted him. There was something there.Something unresolved causing your stomach to flip and your heart to skip a beat. This was way more intimate than you’d intended it to be.

Misha began thrusting up into you, causing an orgasm to take you buy surprise. No one had ever made you come the way that Misha did, well…you tried to keep thoughts of last night’s activities with Jensen out of your head while you were coming around Misha’s cock.

“ _Don’t stop coming, baby girl_ -” Misha groaned against your neck as your head fell back. He moved one of his hands from your waist to rub your clit with his thumb; reigniting your orgasm- “ _Oh that’s it, Fuck_ , you’re gorgeous.”

Misha’s breathing hitched slightly as he continued to thrust up into you. As your orgasm slowed again, his cock twitched inside of you as he came hard. His head fell back against the headboard as all thrusting slowed to a stop, you leaning down and resting your head on his shoulder to catch your breath.

“Breakfast?” you asked as Misha wrapped his arms around you.

“How about a shower, _then_ breakfast.” he laughed as you sat up to kiss him.

“Sounds good.” you said, smiling against his lips; ready to do that again in the shower.

——

**TWO DAYS LATER**

You stood up nervously when Jensen knocked on your door. You hadn’t talked to him since you’d gotten off the plane in Vancouver two days ago. Sure, you’d texted back and forth a couple of times, but that was just to make plans for him to come over.

He’d been to your apartment before, normally it wasn’t this big of a deal; but today it was. Today you were seeing him, alone. There would be no one around, and he promised that Daneel wouldn’t call. It was going to be just you and him.

You walked over to the door and let him in, trying to keep your cool as he stepped passed you, and you shut the door behind him. Neither of you were really sure what to say, so you were relieved when Jensen immediately grabbed your waist and pulled you in for a desperate kiss.

“Hey.” you said as he pulled away, trying to lighten the mood in the room.

“Hey there.” he answered.

You led him over to your couch to sit down as your heart tried to leap out of your chest. This was it, there was no more fantasizing and desperate masturbation. There was no more pretending and avoiding.

You sat down and leaned against the armrest, swinging your legs up over Jensen’s.

“So you’re not in the next episode?” he asked you.

“Nope.” you smiled, thinking of all the time you were going to have over the next eight days to yourself.

“Misha’s not either-” he started, trying to make conversation, but ignoring what you both really wanted, “I was thinking I could stay over or something?”

“Absolutely.” you said as Jensen took one of your ankles and moved your leg to the side before moving around so that he was coming up on top of you. You moved your other leg out of the way so that he could comfortably lay on top of you while he planted a longing kiss to your lips.

You rolled your hips up into his, excited to do this without being interrupted. As Jensen went to work on your neck, your mind slipped a little bit.

“Won’t things be weird for you-” you began as your hands came down to rest on his shoulders- “seeing Daneel after all of this?”

He stopped for a moment and looked up at you, “I haven’t thought about it yet.”

He zoned out slightly as the realization came over him. You knew he had to feel guilty about all of this; more so than you did.

You gently pushed him back into a sitting position and took your shirt and jeans off. You suddenly felt bad for bringing it up, and felt the need to comfort…and distract him.

You sat back down, this time straddling his lap as you nervously traced his jawline with your fingers.

“We’ll figure it out – together.” you said.

His hands found your waist, glancing down and noticing the bruises that Misha had left there the other day.

“You sure about that?” He asked as he looked back up at you, deciding to ignore the bruises.

“Of course, Jen. I love you.”

You gasped, surprised at yourself that you’d said that. Your hand covered your mouth, but Jensen moved it so that he could pull you down and kiss you.

He smiled against your lips, ready to spend the rest of the day with you, here on this couch, and in bed.  
 _  
“I love you too, Y/N.”_


	7. The Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was supposed to be a calm intimate morning with Jensen turns into something a little bit more serious. You make a realization.

You’d gotten up much earlier than Jensen the next morning, you’d taken the time to cook breakfast, make coffee, and contemplate how you felt about Misha.

Your hook up with him the other day was a bit sudden, and then after you checked out of the hotel, neither of you talked about it. Which made you nervous. But when you thought about it; it made your heart flutter. But you didn’t love him. At least you didn’t think you did. Not anymore, anyway. Not after the night you’d spent with Jensen. You just, couldn’t.

Last night had been incredible. It was spent tangled up in sheets with Jensen, talking and getting to know each other in ways you didn’t think you’d ever know each other. It was spent making love. And that’s what it was for you and Jensen. Everything felt natural, and you could openly admit that you loved him.

Deciding that you’d done enough pondering, you set your coffee mug down on your kitchen table and made your way back to your bedroom. As you entered the bright, morning-lit room, you smiled at the sight of Jensen sleeping peacefully.

He shifted in his sleep and rolled over onto his back, giving you the perfect opportunity. He was still naked from the night before, and you knew the perfect way to wake him up. You slid under the covers at the foot of the bed and made your way up to stroke his already half hard cock. His body tensed a little bit but not enough to wake him up.

You licked a stripe up his shaft before swirling your tongue around the head of his cock. You scooted up on your knees so that you could easily take him into your mouth. You hollowed your cheeks and began sucking, causing Jensen to moan. One of his hands found their way into your hair and the other lifted the blanket it up to look at you.

“ _God– Y/N, I could get used to th-_ ” you cut him off with a hard suck on the head of his cock, and you made eye contact with him until his head flew back from the pleasure. He groaned as you stroked what wouldn’t fit into your mouth, and you moaned quietly around him, the vibrations of your voice sending surges of pleasure through him.

Just as his hips began to buck up, you wrapped your hand around the base of his cock tightly with one hand, began stroking with the other and using your mouth to draw out every groan and growl from him that you could. His hand tightened it’s grip in your hair before his cock began to twitch and his cum spilled into your mouth. His breathing was heavy as he moaned. You sucked until his orgasm came to a stop before swallowing – you weren’t fond of the taste but you could stomach it.

When his grip on your hair loosened, you crawled up on top of him and straddled him before leaning down and kissing him.

“Good morning.” you smiled against his lips as his hands found your hips and began rubbing small circles into them.

“Morning…do I smell bacon?” he asked you.

“You do, I cooked already.” You started to pepper kisses along his neck before he surprised you by flipping you over.

“I have to be at work soon.” He said as started kissing his way down your neck.

“Not for another two and a half hours.” you whined as his hand slipped up your shirt to knead your breast.

He lifted your shirt up over your breast and started kissing his way down your torso and rolling one of your nipples between his fingers, which drove you wild. When his mouth reached the waistline of your shorts, his moved his hand and hooked his fingers in to pull them down.

Jensen slowly slid your shorts down your legs and immediately began kissing along your inner thighs, you hadn’t realized how wet you were until one of his long fingers ran along your folds. Your body jolted a tiny bit as he slit a finger into your entrance. His moved slow at first, but as the volume of your moans increased, so did his speed. After he’d slid another finger inside of you, and had your writhing around him, he finally began to teasingly lick your clit.

He flicked his tongue back and forth lightly, just barely brushing against your clit, which caused your body to uncontrollably convulse under his touch. The tingling, pulsating feeling from his tongue increased whenever he pressed down a little bit more, his tongue flattening against your clit as you breathed heavily.

“ _Fuck_ ” you cried out, unable to say anything else as you came undone, the strong waves of your orgasm taking your body over.

He went back to lightly flicking his tongue over your clit until your orgasm came to a stop, your body jerking with each flick of his tongue.

You hadn’t realized how heavily you were breathing until he’d stopped. When Jensen came back up, he kissed you chastely before getting up to grab his clothes. You sat up and reached for your shorts at the end of the bed, going slightly light headed from sitting up so quickly after such a strong orgasm.

“There’s bacon and pancakes in there.” you said, smiling at Jensen.

He came back over to the bed and sat down on the edge next to you, placing a hand on your knee, and looking up at you.

“I love you.” he told you, his expression softening as he suddenly became so vulnerable around you.

“I love you too, Jen.” you said, you scooted over and wrapped your arms around him for a moment before standing up to slide your shorts back on.

“After next week,” Jensen began, “for the break, I- uh, I’m gonna fly home.”

You looked up at him, not expecting it to hurt quite this much that he was going to go home to his wife.

“O-okay.” you nodded- “Are you…gonna tell Daneel?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“If you tell her-”

“What if I left her?” Jensen interrupted you.

“What?” you questioned as you both began to make your way into kitchen- “Jensen, she’s your wife, you _love_ her.”

“And I’m _in love_ with _you_ , Y/N.” You spun around once you’d both reached the kitchen. He practically had tears in his eyes. Hell, you’d almost been crying yourself as the tension grew.

Your brows furrowed as you shook your head, you never thought Jensen would want to _leave_ Daneel. In the beginning of all of this, you thought you and Jensen may sleep together a few times, and that’d be it. But this was becoming a lot more than you anticipated; and you suddenly thought back to your last relationship; which was with Misha. It was so unhealthy, but you ignored all the signs.

This time, however, with Jensen, you couldn’t ignore the signs; and no matter how you felt about Jensen, or how he felt about you, this would never work. It couldn’t; and it broke your heart.

“Jensen-” you were interrupted by the sound of a knock at your door. Jensen looked up at you, slightly worried. But when you heard Misha’s voice on the other side, you both relaxed slightly. Or you did, anyway.

“He knows.” you said before walking over to answer the door, ignoring the look Jensen had given you when he thought about someone besides you and him knowing about all of this.

Jensen watched as you answered the door. Misha had made eye contact with him right away just before he hugged you, which made his blood boil. That’s when it clicked in his head; where those bruises on your hips had come from. He wondered when it had happened, because they weren’t there the night you ran out of his hotel room, so it had to have been between now and then.

He didn’t snap out of it until he realized you were talking to him.

“What?” he asked, looking down at you.

“Do you mind if Misha stays for breakfast?” You asked.

“I uh- I guess not.” he shrugged, shoving the realization he’d just made in the back of his mind.

“Okay, then…well, there’s plenty of food.” you said as you motioned over to where the food was sitting- “I’m gonna take a shower.”

You turned back as you started walking away towards your bathroom, winking at Jensen before making awkward eye contact with Misha. You needed to figure out what was going on with him. Like soon.

No matter how hard you tried, the shower was not helping you clear your head. Was Jensen really in love with you enough to want to leave his wife? And the way he looked at Misha in there, you knew that Jensen tried to ignore the bruises on your hips, but you had a feeling he figured it out.

On the other hand, why would it matter that you had slept with Misha? Jensen was married; and you were technically single, you could sleep with who you want. These were your two closest friends, but it felt like you were tearing them apart.

You finished showering and slid your clothes on, and when you walked back out into your living room/kitchen area, Jensen was gone and Misha was on your couch.

“Where’s…?” you started to ask.

“He went to work.” Misha told you.

“Oh.”

“I didn’t think you would go back to him.” You looked at Misha, confused.

“Why would you think…?”

“Y/N, did you see how upset you were the other night?” Misha began, standing up as he spoke- “You were broken. I have never seen you like that before.”

You crossed your arms as Misha talked to you, noticing the slightest bit of heartbreak in his voice.

“I could’ve not slept with you the other day, yeah, I could’ve left, went back to my room-” he stepped closer to you as you remained silent- “I just thought that maybe, just maybe, if we started something up again, even if it was just sex, you’d stay away from Jensen.”

“Mish-”

“He’s _married_ , Y/N.” You were being interrupted a lot today, and you were just about done with it.

“ _You think I don’t know that?!_ ” you snapped, “You think that doesn’t rip me apart inside?! He has to go home in a couple of weeks to his wife, who he wants to _leave_ , Mish.”

You looked down as your voice cracked when you’d said Misha’s name. You didn’t want Jensen to leave Daneel. You wanted to finish up whatever fucked up little love story was going on and move on with your life. You weren’t going to let yourself be blinded by love, ever again.

Misha didn’t say another word as he stepped forward and pulled you into a hug. You melted into him easily, and broke down quickly. You were in tears before you could even try to hold them back.

“You want me to go?” he asked softly.

“No, stay.” you cried as Misha backed up and sat both of you down on the couch. He let you lay down and put your head in his lap as he ran his fingers through your hair.

Things were quiet for a while before you’d calmed down and decided to speak up again.

“Do you really still love me?”

The smooth motion of Misha running his hands through your hair stopped, “I do-” you sat up to look at him, unable to ignore the absolute heartbreak in his eyes- “I never stopped, and knowing you’re with Jensen– It kills me.”

You sat close to him, no gap between the two of you as you reached up and brushed his dark hair from his eyes. He caught your wrist with his hand and brought it down to his lap, lacing his fingers with yours as he did so.

“I’m ready to talk about it.” you said softly, earning a surprised look from Misha.

“Talk about..?”

“Why things ended. With us.” You looked down to where he held your hand. You knew that he was listening carefully.

You took a deep breath before continuing.

“I know you loved me when I ended it. I loved you too-” your voice cracked again, the corners of your mouth tugged down from just the thought of loving Misha- “But you know all we did was fight whenever we weren’t fucking.”

You looked back up at him, noticing the single tear that was streaming down his face as he focused on your intertwined hands.

“It was unhealthy.” you started again, “and that one night? When I hit you?”

He looked up at you, “I was being an asshole; _I_ was in the wrong.”

“It was still wrong of me, no matter how big of an asshole you were being.”

“I could’ve treated you better, the things I called you?” he shook his head- “no one deserves to be treated like that.” His lips quivered ever so slightly as he thought back to everything.

“It’s amazing that we came to be friends through it all-” you added as you pulled his hand into your lap.

“Friends?” he asked, slowly leaning in as your hand had left his and began slowly traveling up his arm. You swallowed thickly as your eyes were locked on each other.

Your heart felt like it stopped just as his lips began to brush yours, and you pulled away.

“I don’t love you like that anymore, Mish. I can’t.”

His hand moved up your arm this time, and traveled up to cup your face, you hadn’t pulled too far away, the distance between you and him was still intimate.

“ _Yes you do_.” he stated, his voice low.

Was it possible to love both him and Jensen? The way that you felt right now was not how you felt with friends. You allowed him to pull you in, to place a gentle kiss to your lips. Something about him took your breath away. And although you loved Jensen, his touch didn’t take your breath away.

Maybe you did love Misha. Maybe nothing good would come of it, but things didn’t exactly seem to be going so well with Jensen, either. Not to you anyway.

When you broke apart from Misha, you rested your forehead against his. His thumb caressing your cheek as you looked him in the eye before you opened your mouth to speak.

“ _I guess I do_.”


	8. It's Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things with Jensen come to and end and things with Misha get started up again. You find something out about Daneel, who also pays you a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just thought I'd announce there this is only two parts left after this, AND there will be a prequel -- about the readers past with Misha.

**2 WEEKS LATER**

“You’re not gonna forget about me, are you?” You asked Jensen as you sat down on his lap, straddling him and placing a kiss on his lips.

“I could never forget you, baby.” His hands held onto your hips as you rolled them against him. He had been slightly distant over the last few days, but he wouldn’t talk about it. You figured it was just from the guilt of him getting ready to go home to Daneel.

This had become a custom for you both over the last couple of weeks. You’d sneak into his trailer whenever you had extra time on set, and you’d go over to his apartment every few nights.

Things with between Jensen and Misha were a little awkward for a few days, but they’d quickly gotten over it. But that might have had something to do with the fact that for the last two weeks, you’d been lying to both of them.

The reason why you’d been going over to Jensen’s apartment every few nights was because on nights when you weren’t at his place, Misha was at yours. Jensen didn’t know about Misha, and Misha didn’t know about Jensen. You’d been keeping everything way under the radar, and you felt incredibly guilty, but you loved both of them. And with the way Jensen had been acting over the last few days, you wouldn’t be surprised if things ended soon anyway.

Jensen groaned as you rocked your hips back and forth, your clothed pussy throbbing against his denim covered cock, while you sat on the couch in his trailer, working to undo his pants. Your head fell back as his hands roamed your body, after what felt like forever, you were finally able free his throbbing cock. You were just as desperate for each other as you were when you had filmed that scene with him that started it all.

You pushed your shorts and panties to the side with one hand while guiding his cock to your entrance with the other. You sank down onto him slowly, biting your bottom lip as he filled you up. You wasted no time grabbing onto his shoulders as you began bouncing up and down on his lap. You tried to keep your eyes open, focused on Jensen as he came undone underneath you; because if you closed your eyes, the eyes that you saw _were not_ Jensen’s.

You both kept quiet as you desperately worked towards your release. Jensen looked up at you to make eye contact with you right before you began swiveling your hips; which sent him over the edge. You had to put a finger to your lips to remind him to stay quiet just as the new angle had triggered your orgasm. You leaned down to kiss him to keep the both of you quiet as your body trembled, and Jensen’s hips bucked up.

This was your last chance to do anything before he had to leave for the airport, which was in a few minutes.

“I love you.” you whispered against his lips as you started to stand up.

“I love you too..” he trailed off, “uh- look, Y/N-”

“You wanna end it before you go home.” you said, taking the words right out of his mouth. He looked up at you before you turned to go into his bathroom to clean up.

A minute later, you walked back out to the main area of his spacious trailer, making eye contact with him. Fighting back tears with everything you had.

“You don’t have to make up any excuses, I get it. I expected it.” you told him.

Jensen stood up and walked over to you, reaching up to caress your cheek with his hand; you leaned into him, feeling the familiar pang in your chest of heartbreak.

“I’m sorry.” Jensen looked away, unable to keep up eye contact with you. He felt terrible. He loved you, and he wanted to be with you. But you told him not to leave Daneel, and he listened.

“It’s fine, I’ll see you after break.” you said, tears beginning to roll down your cheeks as you pushed passed him and made your way out of his trailer and over to yours.

–

You were happy that you’d had a little while to sit and sulk in your trailer after Jensen ended things. You had to wait for Misha, who was your ride home today; so you took the time to take a shower and fix your face to make it look like you hadn’t been crying.

_He could’ve at least ended it before I fucked him, that was kind of shitty,_ you thought.

What Jensen had told you, it made you feel empty. But you were going to push through. He was married, and at least you still had Misha.

You’d just been pulling your shirt over your head when Misha walked in, ready to go.

“Hey don’t put that on!” he joked as he walked over to you and kissed you on the cheek.

“You can take it off of me at home.” you said as you pulled him back down to kiss you on the lips. You lingered there for a moment, leaning into him. You needed the comfort right now more than you liked to admit.

You let out a sigh just as Misha pulled away, causing him to pull you into a hug. You immediately buried your face in his chest, taking his scent in and letting him run a hand through your hair. You clutched onto the back of his shirt as if to say that he better not pull away.

“You okay?” He asked. And you hated that you had to lie to him.

You nodded, “Let’s go.” you looked up at him and mustered up a smile.

Not long after you left set to go home, you’d found yourself naked in bed with Misha, curled up next to him with your head resting on his chest. It was early evening at this point and you couldn’t have been more contented; except for the fact that you couldn’t stop thinking about Jensen.

“Are you asleep?” Misha asked as he brushed your hair to the side.

“No, are you?” you smiled as you looked up at him. Those blue eyes making your heart flutter yet again.

“Will you please tell me what’s wrong?” he asked, rubbing your arm and pulling you in closer.

“Nothing’s wrong, Mish.” you said as you rested your head back down on his chest, you just wanted to hear his heartbeat again. The steady rhythm kept you calm.

“Is it because Daneel’s pregnant?”

Your head shot up and you propped yourself up next to Misha, “She’s what now?”

“You didn’t know?”

You just shook your head. That was why Jensen had been a little off. It had to be. Your heart felt like it was beating at a thousand miles per minute. Jensen was expecting; and if his wife ever found out about what the two of you had been doing, his family’s future would be ruined.

“I know that you still…have feelings for him.” Misha trailed off; doubt filled his voice as he looked at you.

You shook your head as you looked at him, still in shock from what he’d just told you. At the same time you leaned up to kiss him, hopefully making all that doubt melt away. You climbed up on top of him before you broke the kiss.

“I love _you_ , Misha.” you whispered. It was the first time you’d said it; and that made it feel that much more real.

“I love you too, Y/N.” he said. Smiling as he pulled you back in for a kiss and rolled the both of you over so that he was now one top of you.

The feeling of his body over and around yours was one that you could never get tired of. You had no idea if things would work out with you and Misha, but you were ready to find out.

Your stomach flipped whenever his tongue slid into your mouth, and apparently Misha had felt the same way, because the next thing you knew, you were moaning as he slid his cock into your entrance. It was the best part about laying in bed naked with him, sex just..happened. It’s why you both did it.

You moaned into his mouth as he began slowly thrusting in and out of you, his lips moving from your mouth to your neck. His thrusts sped up as he bit down on your pulse point, drawing a loud whimper from you, and a growl from him. You wrapped your arms around him as he fucked into you, which only sped him up. He reached between your bodies and began rubbing your clit in harsh circles, your orgasm only taking a few seconds to take you over.

Your walls clenched around his cock as your body writhed, your head flew back into the mattress as your juices soaked the mattress, causing Misha’s thrusts to falter. He came hard as your orgasm slowed to a stop, the moan eliciting from him had you mumbling a quiet _fuck_ to yourself. If you had to pick a favorite sound, the sound of Misha Collins coming would be it.

When he’d finished and rolled off of you, you were quick to lay your head back down on his chest as his breathing slowed. You licked your lips before taking a moment to look up at Misha, who’d had his eyes glued to you.

“You’re absolutely beautiful.” He told you before pulling you in close to him and kissing the top of your head.

“So…are we..?” you started to ask.

“Do you want to be?”

You made eye contact with him before placing a chaste kiss to his lips, “Yes.”

He smiled at you before kissing you, _his girlfriend,_ again.

——

**SIX DAYS LATER**

You’d been making more popcorn when you heard the knock at your door. Misha offered to get up and get it but you were standing only a few feet away, and you wanted to get back to your movie night with him as quickly as possible.

“Who is it?” Misha asked you from the couch, even though he could clearly see that you hadn’t opened the door yet. The last week had been filled with nothing but flirting and goofing around. In fact, the only time either of you had left your apartment was when Misha left to grab a few more clothes and his toothbrush.

You shot a look back at him as you opened the door, but when you turned back to see who it was; a fist landed on your nose at full force.

It was Daneel. Jensen was right behind her, looking like he’d been crying for the last few hours at least. Misha jumped up as she punched you again, this time blood began pouring from your nose; causing you to fall back.

“ _You fucking slut!_ ” She screamed at you as you backed up into your apartment on your ass, except she’d followed you and hit you again, this time in the side of your head. You covered your nose and closed your eyes as she’d gotten one more hit in before Jensen pulled her away.

“ _Enough!_ ” he yelled as he held her back.

It had all happened so fast that you hadn’t said a word, you just looked up at her and glanced between her and Jensen. Daneel shook Jensen off as your breathing became heavier, the situation sinking in a little more as she stormed off.

“Y/N, I’m sorry-” Jensen began as he stepped forward, but you held your hand up- “ _fuck_ , I’m so sorry.”

“ _J-just go_.” you said only seconds before your tears began to fall, Jensen took a deep breath before leaving.

He slammed your door on his way out, causing you to jump. You looked up at Misha, who was standing in the middle of the living room in disbelief as blood ran down the front of your face and onto your shirt.

“You were still seeing him.” he stated, his voice low, his eyes filled with hurt, “we were finally together..”

“ _M-misha-_ ”

“But you were still _fucking_ him.” he interrupted you and shook his head, quickly wiping away tears that had began streaming down his own face.

“ _I-I’m sorr-ry._ ” Your ability to form words was practically non-existent as you began crying harder while sitting there on the floor, not bothering to get up and clean the blood off of yourself.

Misha just looked at you and shook his head before turning around and grabbing the few things that he had.

“ _M-mish_ -” you begged as you tried to stand up, but you were too dizzy- “ _p-please…_ ”

Misha ignore you, a crying, bloody mess on the floor as he left your apartment, slamming the door behind him just as Jensen had.

You leaned back on the wall behind you and brought your knees up to your chest. You spit out the blood that had gotten in your mouth onto your shirt, not caring; it was ruined anyway.

You tried to keep yourself from hyperventilating but there was no stopping it as you sat there. Tears streaming down your face as you sobbed, the realization hitting you and making it even worse. You ignored the beep of the microwave, signaling that the popcorn was done. You tried to work yourself towards numbness, but you couldn’t.

You fucked up, and now you were alone.


	9. No Strings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You head over to Jared’s place after Misha leaves you a crying mess on your floor. You open up about your past and make an important phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER WARNING: This chapter discusses rape. It does not describe it in detail, the reader just talks about it while talking about her past.

  
By the time you’d stopped crying, the blood on your face was completely dried and it was almost nine o’clock. The only thing that you knew was that you did not want to be alone anymore. You were nauseous from how upset you’d been and had you not been too scared to wake up alone, you would’ve passed out. **  
**

You finally cleaned up and changed before doing the only thing you could think of to do; you headed to the liquor store for a bottle of tequila and made your way over to Jared’s apartment. You knocked on his door nervously. You’d been here plenty of times before, so you weren’t nervous about that. You were nervous because you didn’t want to have to explain all that had just happened, and you knew that you’d probably have to.

You took a deep breath as he opened the door.

“Y/N-” he looked down the hallway, probably looking to see if you’d brought Misha or Jensen- “what’s goin’ on?” He ignored the bit of blood that still lined your nostrils. Your nose was too sore to get it all off.

“I’ve had a shitty night, and I need a friend-” you held up the brown paper bag that held a bottle of Cabo Wabo and smiled- “and someone to share this tequila with.”

Jared smiled and shook his head jokingly- “You and your tequila-” He stepped to the side and let you come in- “I’ll get some shot glasses.”

You took it upon yourself to settle on Jared’s carpeted living room floor, between his couch and coffee table. His apartment was always low-lit and relaxing, and you loved it. You pushed aside as much of your pain as you could, telling yourself that everything was fine, just so that you didn’t have to feel the pain.

When Jared walked into the living room with four shot glasses, you raised your eyebrows.

“Four?”

“You look like you gotta lot on your mind.” he suggested as he sat them down on the coffee table and you cracked open the bottle and filled up each shot glass. Without making eye contact with Jared you downed the first shot and leaned your head back on the couch.

“Wanna talk about it?” he asked, his eyes lingering on your blood-dried nose.

“No-” you sat back up to down another shot as he took his first shot- “you’ll judge me.”

“Y/N, why the hell would I judge you for anything?” He playfully shoved you as you took his second shot for him before pouring four more.

“You will. Trust me.”

“Okay then..never have I ever?” He suggested.

You rolled your eyes and agreed. At least it’d help get your mind off of the stabbing pain of heartbreak in your chest that didn’t seem to be going away for a little while. Besides, Jared always came up with the best shit for this game.

The game went on for a little while and by the time an hour had passed, you were both feeling heavily buzzed, but not drunk. You couldn’t feel anything at this point, so when Jared dropped the next ‘never have I ever’ you just smiled.

“Never have I ever slept with a cast member _or_ guest star.” He made sure to put emphasis on the ‘or’.

When you chuckled and took two shots, he raised a brow at you.

“Who?” he asked.

You rolled your eyes, resting your head on the couch behind you and looking him in the eye, “Misha.”

“Suspected that one, you guys were always all over each other when you first started on the show-” he said as he refilled the shot glasses- “who else?”

You took a deep breath and opted for breaking eye contact this time, “Jensen.”

This time, Jared furrowed his brows and nearly spilled the tequila.

“Jensen? _Married_ Jensen?” He asked.

You just nodded and took another deep breath, along with another shot just for the hell of it, “I’m sure you’ve seen this bit of dried blood in my nose?”

“Uh..yeah I was..gonna ask about that…” he trailed off.

“Daneel.”

He nodded slowly and watched as you reached for another shot, but held his hand over the shot glasses, preventing you from taking anymore- “You shouldn’t take anymore.”

“Why not?” you asked as you tried to reach for a shot again, but Jared continued to block you.

“You can have more if you tell me your story.”

“My story?” you scoffed, “ _Pshh_ , that’s not happening.”

“Y/N I’ve known you for two years and no one knows anything about your past…open up a little.” There was genuine concern in Jared’s eyes, like he knew something about you. Or like he’d help you feel better if you just opened up to him. He was right though, the only one that knew a single thing about your past was Misha; and it’d been awhile since you told him.

“Well it’s shittier than the situation I’m in now-” You exchanged looks with him before rolling your eyes- “Fine. Sit back.”

“The floor is yours.” he moved the shots and the bottle of tequila to his side of the table, out of your reach.

“Dad died when I was six, Mom’s an alcoholic-” you began as you rolled your eyes at the unimpressive story that was your life- “My childhood was a string of my mom’s boyfriends and moving every few months because she couldn’t pay rent.”

The look that Jared had on his face told you that he was really there for you. He was really your friend, and that’s exactly what you needed right now.

“I home schooled myself through high school,” you began again, “when I turned eighteen I got accepted into….quite a few colleges, but my mom..she– she’s really good at manipulating people. When she found out about college she sat me down and said, _‘Y/N, you’re my rock…you can’t leave. Your father left me, you can’t leave me too.’_ ”

You looked up at Jared as he put his arm around your shoulders, offering comfort as your voice broke slightly from continuing your story- “So I stayed, and I started going down the same path she was. Two years later, when I was twenty, she had this boyfriend who was just, too young for her…twenty-five _maybe_.”

“You don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.” Jared suggested when he’d noticed your eyes beginning to water. Even though you were pretty sure you were just over emotional from the tequila.

“S’okay…anyway, he was closer to my age than hers, by like…a lotta years.” you looked down at your hands in your lap- “we were partying one night, my mom’s all passed out drunk on the couch and her boyfriend’s all strung out on whatever he’d been taking.”

You swallowed thickly and leaned into Jared slightly- “He uh- got a hold of me…pinned me down on the floor, um…same room my mom was in,” you sniffled and shifted nervously- “tore my p-pants up…r-raped me.”

Jared opened his mouth to speak but you held your hand up, indicating that you weren’t finished- “My mom woke up while it was happening. S-she didn’t do anything-” this is when you’d really lost it, this was the hardest part of the story for you- “She d-didn’t _protect_ me…that’s what moms a-are supposed t-to do.” you were sobbing as you finished the story, sparing as many details as you could and clutched onto Jared’s free hand- “she called me a slut and left..she _let him finish_.”

“Stop, Y/N.” Jared said as you realized you were leaning into him so much that you were now completely wrapped in his arms with your head against his chest- “you don’t have to relive it just to tell me..I’m sorry I asked…It’s okay.”

You rested in his arms for a moment as you cried. Your past didn’t even bother you anymore, you thought you’d gotten over it. Everything from the very first time you kissed Jensen on set had all of a sudden overwhelmed you.

“Well, that’s how I got here-” you choked out as you stayed against Jared’s chest- “my mom forgot her purse-” you started wiping away your tears as you sat back up- “I took all of her money, packed up that night and left for LA…ten years later, here I am on your living room floor crying my eyes out. Haven’t seen or spoken to my mom since that night.”

You shook your head as you finally wiped your remaining tears away. Jared offered you a shot but you waved it off.

“Who’d _you_ sleep with?” you asked, needing a subject change.

“What?”

“You took a shot too..you know, _‘never have I ever slept with a cast member_ or _guest star’_ ” you mimicked him as you raised your eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

He smiled before making eye contact with you- “I don’t know if you ever met her…Gen-Genevieve Cortese?”

You sat up on your knees and smacked him on the arm, “ _Shut up!_ I met her at a few conventions…is that why she avoids you?”

“Well..probably.” Jared laughed nervously as you grinned at his confession. You’d heard rumors about them, but you assumed it never worked out, “It’s a story for another time..”

You looked at him, now at eye level with you as you sat on your knees; a nervous tension building in the room. You regretted it instantly, and once again thought of how much alcohol has wrecked your life as you leaned forward and smashed your lips into Jared’s. It was awkward for a moment, but when he started kissing you back, you pulled away.

“Oh my God..I don’t know how much bigger of a slut I could be..” you trailed off, trying to stand up but your legs were a little numb from drinking, so you just plopped down on Jared’s couch.

“Woah, hey, Y/N, you are _not_ a slut-” He began, lifting himself off the floor and sitting next to you on the couch- “I don’t know what happened with you and Jensen..or Misha..but sleeping around a bit doesn’t make you a slut.”

You’d wished more than anything that alcohol – particularly tequila didn’t boost your confidence so much.

“So you’re saying after sleeping with Misha, Jensen, and then _you-_ all within a week _doesn’t_ make me a slut?” you questioned, leaning back on the couch and crossing your arms.

“Not at all-” he shrugged, his confidence was obviously enhanced as well.

You shook your head- “I’m sorry, I-”

You looked up at Jared from where you were slumped over in the couch. _Rebound_ , you thought. You loved two guys..you’d slept with like, one other person besides Misha and Jensen over the last two years.

“Ugh, fuck it.” you said as you sat up and practically jumped up in Jared’s lap and crashing your lips into his.

_Things couldn’t get much worse_ , you thought,

—-

You woke up the next morning, regretting that you’d opted for sleeping on Jared’s couch when he’d offered you his bed. Surprisingly, you didn’t have a hangover. You did however, have a plethora or text messages. You grabbed your phone off of the coffee table, which was next to four untouched shots and an open bottle of tequila – you rolled your eyes at yourself for that one.

You held your breath as you looked at the messages, and wincing from how sore your nose was.

Misha: _we might be able to fix this._

Your heart sank just at the sight of the first message from Misha.

Misha: _if you would’ve just told me…we would’ve been fine._

Misha: _Y/N where are you? Came by your apartment. You weren’t there?_

Misha: _really getting worried, please answer me baby_

Misha: _please tell me you’re okay_

Misha: _baby i love you, please answer._

You quickly thought of something to say. You weren’t sure if it was what you truly wanted, but it’s what you needed.

Y/N: _i’m sorry mish, i’m fine…i love you too…but i don’t think we can be together, i’m really sorry._

You let out a low sob as your pressed send. Your stomach turned over and you sat up quickly, suddenly feeling all of that tequila. You made a beeline for Jared’s bathroom and fell to the floor in front of his toilet and emptied the contents of your stomach. Your head began pounding and you almost smiled to yourself as you wiped your mouth. _Of course, now the hangover shows up._

You felt clammy as you stood up and leaned down over the sink and drank right from the faucet, rinsing your mouth out and then splashing your face with cold water. You left the bathroom, the small trash can in hand just in case, and went back to the couch. You decided to wait until Jared woke up before you left.

Your eyes were still watery as you looked at the rest of the texts, which were from Jensen, surprisingly.

Jensen: _i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean for any of this to happen_

Jensen: _daneel and i are getting divorced_

Jensen: _don’t blame yourself for everything pls. Its my fault too._

You couldn’t look at anymore. You laid back down and stared at the ceiling, thinking of everything you’d told Jared the night before. You wondered if anything would ever work itself back out. You regretted sleeping with Jensen, ever. You regretted hurting Misha, maybe you should’ve told him you’d never stopped seeing Jensen in the first place. You were mad that Misha left you yesterday when you needed him the most. You probably should have regretted sleeping with Jared, even if it was a no-strings-attached kind of situation, but you didn’t at this point.

You opened your phone back up, your hands shaky as you dialed the phone number. More tears stung your eyes and you focused your everything on the ceiling fan as you pressed the call button, held your phone to your ear and closed your eyes.

It rang twice, and then finally- “Hello?”

All of the air escaped your lungs when she answered. Tears spilling over, and all you could do was hope for the best- “ _M-mom?_ ”


	10. We're in this Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally decide it’s time to get your head on straight. Misha surprises you at your apartment, and you break some news to everyone one set.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter you guys!!!! I hope you enjoy it!!!! And look out for the prequel coming out soon!

You weren’t sure if you’d felt better or worse after having called your mom.

She was sober now, and had been for seven years. You leaving had a bigger effect on her than you thought it would. She of course apologized profusely to you, to which you had no response; and when the conversation ended, you just sat there on the edge of Jared’s couch, staring at your blank phone screen.

Tears streamed down your face, but you weren’t sobbing, and you felt numb. Your nose was pretty sore, but on the inside – you felt nothing.

“I started some coffee if you-” Jared walked into the living room, stopping dead in his tracks when he looked at you- “what’s wrong?” He walked over to you, sitting down next to you and putting his arms around you.

You told him everything. The numbness you felt allowed you to pour your heart out, about how things started with Jensen, about your past with Misha, everything that’d happened yesterday, and how you’d just called your mom. You talked and talked while Jared cooked breakfast, and he listened.

Jared talked to you, and you tried to figure out what to do. Jared’s advice of course was to go on pretending none of it ever happened, but you knew things wouldn’t be so easy.

Regardless, by early evening, you knew what you were going to do.

You’d been at Jared’s apartment for almost twenty-four hours before you decided to finally go home.

As you walked down your hallway to apartment, your heart sank at the sight of Misha sitting on the floor outside your door, leaning against the wall; nearly asleep.

“Misha, what are you doing?” You asked him.

He perked up and immediately stood up, and as you walked closer you noticed his eyes were lined with redness– he’d undeniably been crying.

“Y/N-” He put his hands in his pockets as he spoke, nervously looking between you and the floor as you finally came to a stop in front of him- “I don’t care what you’ve done or who you’ve slept with..” tears came to his eyes again, causing tears to sting at your own eyes, “I know in the beginning I was a shitty guy to be with, but I’ve loved you..every _single_ day for two years-”

He made direct eye contact with you, and you began to shake slightly- “Nothing’s changed, and I know you love me…and I _know_ you haven’t stopped-” He finally took his hands out of his pockets, and in his hand he held a beautiful, white gold ring with a heart shaped diamond on top as he got down on one knee, and took your hand in his- “I wanna start over with you, and I wanna be with you for the rest of my life. So _please_ -” He slid the ring onto your ring finger on your left hand–it fit like a glove. He looked up, making direct eye contact with you.

Misha threaded his hand with yours, and in the hallway of your apartment building he practically begged you- “Y/N Y/L/N, _please_ , marry me. _Be my wife_.”

Your heart dropped to your stomach. Tears overflowed and ran down your cheeks, and you felt overwhelmingly hot all of a sudden. Misha slowly stood and your eyes stayed glued on his. The look on his face was worried yet hopeful.

“Say something, baby.” Misha said quietly.

“I-” you thought back to the first time you’d brought Misha home, the first time you ever slept with him. In a desperate attempt to maul each other on your floor, just inside your apartment door- neither of you could even make it to your bed. That first night, even though you’d literally known him for less than forty-eight hours, you knew you loved him, and you knew that you always would- “Of course I’ll marry you, Mish.”

Your cheeks were burning bright red as Misha brought you into his arms, hugging you tightly. You breathed in his scent as you buried your head in his chest. When you finally pulled away, you looked up at him, happily capturing his lips with yours as he leaned down to kiss you. The kiss deepened quickly, and before long you were stumbling back into your apartment, hands and lips all over each other.

“Wait.” you said as you pulled away, your face filling with worry; your stomach twisting into a knot.

“ _Hmm_?” Misha brushed a strand of hair behind your ear as you looked up at him.

“I um- last night…I-” you broke eye contact, worried this may ruin everything- “I hooked up with Jared.”

Misha sighed before lifting your chin up so that you’d look at him- “I don’t care.”

You furrowed your brows- “A-are you sure?”

He nodded, glancing down at your lips right after you’d made eye contact again and leaning back in to kiss you.

“I love you.” he breathed against your lips as you both struggled to migrate into your bedroom; kicking your shoes off along the way. You were grateful that you’d showered at Jared’s that morning, otherwise you would’ve smelled like a brewery right now.

You both fell down on your bed, desperately ripping article after article of clothing off of each other. You both sat on your knees on your bed as he unbuttoned his shirt and you undid both your pants and his own. You fell back onto the mattress, your shirt and bra already having been discarded on the floor. You lifted your hips to pull your jeans and panties down just as Misha had gotten his pants off as well.

Neither of you wasted any time, you spread your legs and he laid down over you, crashing his lips into yours and moaning into each other’s mouths. Your heart pounded, overwhelmed from everything that had happened. Misha latched onto your neck and as your hands found his hair, he slowly kissed his way down your chest, taking one of your breasts into his mouth and sucking gently as he teased your other nipple between his fingers; gently pulling and twisting before kissing the rest of the way down your body, whispering sweet nothings to you as his lips tickled your skin.

His mouth finally moved down to your thighs, where he bit gently, causing you to try to press your legs together, but he wouldn’t let you. He kissed up your thigh until his mouth landed on your wet folds, where he licked a long stripe up. His tongue darted out and licked your entrance, his nose rubbing against your clit as he buried his face into you. You reached down, feeling for his hand. He intertwined his fingers with yours, his thumb rubbing against the new ring on your finger.

You let out a strangled moan as he licked up to your clit, kissing your aching sex and sucking your clit into his mouth, causing your body to jerk. Misha then flattened his tongue against your clit before flicking his tongue quickly, your hips bucking up as your orgasm suddenly ripped through your body.

You cried out, the feeling of your walls clenching causing your whole body to tense and convulse. Misha was quick once he rode you through it to come up and quickly slide his rock hard cock into your entrance. Your walls were still tight from your orgasm, drawing out a long moan from Misha as he kissed you, his face still glistening with your juices. He began thrusting slowly as you tasted yourself on his tongue, your hands finding his back and urging him to move faster. You needed all of him – and you needed him now.

“ _Fuck – Misha-_ ” you cried out as he buried his cock in you, fucking you into the mattress. Misha rested his face in the crook of your neck, the head of his cock brushing against your g-spot with each thrust, causing your juices to flow out onto the mattress and quickly bringing on your second orgasm.

You couldn’t have stayed quiet if you wanted to. Your orgasm had been so intense that you screamed out Misha’s name, along with a few obscenities as you tightened around his cock.

Misha’s release was quick to follow your own, his thrusts began to falter until he stilled inside of you, kissing you as he filled you with his hot cum. He moaned into your mouth as your tongue rolled over his before you sucked his bottom lip into your mouth.

You both let out long breaths as he reluctantly pulled out of you, softly pressing his lips to yours once more as he fell to your side, your heart skipping a beat as you turned onto your side and continued to kiss him.

That “honeymoon phase” never wore off with you and Misha. Everything had come so naturally – your feelings for each other had anyway. Your last attempt at a relationship would have proved the opposite, but never the less; what he’d said as he proposed to you was true. You never stopped loving him.

“I’m leaving the show.” you spat out as your lips finally parted, your breathing still laboured.

Misha looked at you, unsure that you’d actually just said that, “Wha-why?”

“After my contract’s up at the end of this season…I’m not re-signing.” you stated, rolling over and staring up at the ceiling- “I need to get out of Vancouver for a while.”

“What made you decide this, baby?” Misha turned onto his side this time, resting your arm across you, just below your bare breasts, tracing circles into your side.

“I called my mom.”

“ _What?_ ” Misha’s tone was a little alarmed, he knew about everything she’d done.

“She’s clean now-” you looked over at Misha- “I…I need to go see her.”

“You don’t _need_ to.”

“I do. One day when she’s gone…I-I’ll regret it if I don’t” You closed your eyes, Misha pressing his lips to your forehead.

“I’ll come with you.”

“No-” you said flatly- “I need to do it on my own.”

Misha reached over and lifted your left hand, holding it up so that you’d look at the ring he’d put on your finger.

“We’re in this together now, Y/N-” he trailed off as he stared at the ring for a moment before looking up at you- “No matter what.”

You had no response, you only laid there as Misha took your breath away.

“I love you, Misha.”

“I love you, Y/N.”

—-

**SIX WEEKS LATER**

“Am I…am I the whole reason you’re leaving?” Jensen asked you, following you as you walked out of the office where you were supposed to sign your new contract. You had just broken the news to everyone that you were leaving.

“I’m leaving for a lot of reasons, Jen-” you began, stopping to turn to him outside in the trailer lot- “and yes, you’re one of them.”

He looked down and put his hands in his pockets. You looked to the side, crossing your arms, unsure of what to say to him.

“So how’s things with Daneel?” you finally asked.

“Better. Divorce isn’t out of the picture yet, though.” he said, sounding ashamed.  
You nodded awkwardly- “I have to get to wardrobe.” you said before walking off.

That was one of the major reasons your were leaving. You’d ruined everything on set. Not to mention that your heart was still hurting, you _did_ love Jensen, and this was hard. Getting over someone was hard. Even though now it was you and Misha.

You were waiting until after filming was over to tell the world about you and Misha. You wanted to do that much for Jensen. It was only a couple of weeks off at this point.

Luckily, you and Jared were still fine. With Misha’s forgiveness you were able to put that night with him behind you.

Once filming was over, there was a convention the weekend after, and that’s where you and Misha would make your announcement.

You made your way into Misha’s trailer – which wasn’t wardrobe, where you said you had to be. He smiled as you walked in, he sat on the couch and you walked over and sat down right next to him, turning your back to him and Misha repositioning so that your back was resting against his chest.

“How’d they take it?” he asked.

“No one wants me to leave-” you trailed off, your voice cracking a little as you rested your head back against him.

“Of course they don’t, you’re family here. Have been since the moment you stepped on set.” Misha wrapped his arms around you tightly and kissed the top of your head, his hand sliding down to rest on your lower abdomen.

You sighed as your hand rested over his- “What if the doctor’s wrong about how far along I am?” you questioned, “What if it’s not yours?”

“I’m pretty sure an ultrasound is about as accurate as it get’s, baby.” he reassured you.

After waking up one morning a week ago, sick as a dog and puking your guts out for hours, Misha had convinced you to let him take you to the hospital. They ended up running blood tests, and that’s when you found out that you were pregnant. They gave you an ultrasound to confirm how far along you were – four weeks. Early, but just far along enough to start getting morning sickness, which lasted all day.

You looked up at Misha to see him smiling at you. You were happy to finally be passed everything. You were excited to move forward and start this new chapter in your life.

You had plans with Misha to go see your mom, and you were terrified. Whether this was her chance to make things up to you or not, you still weren’t sure.

You stretched up to kiss Misha, your heart still fluttering when his lips met yours. You didn’t know this now, but that feeling would last for the rest of your life. You reached into your pocket to pull out your ring and slide it on your finger to look at it and wear it before you had to get back to work.

Things with Jensen may have been unintentional, but you would never regret it. Because it brought you back to _the love of your life._


End file.
